I Don't Blame You
by Silentmidnight3443
Summary: "Wish you would step back from that ledge my friend" "When I knew how to save a life" "No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in But we feel like we do when we make fun of him" Toris is bullied for what he prefers in life, though his boyfriend doesn't care about what people think, he get's drove over maybe too close to the edge.


'_Will it hurt?'_

The thought ran through his mind a million times over with no stop as he peered over the edge of the five story school building. Bellow laid the smooth concrete of a side drive-way that lead to the staff parking lot in the back. Beyond that was a lush grass field used for sport, outside lunches, and free periods. At the moment, the silence of the outside world made the warm spring day a few degrees colder. Nothing but the light chirps of passing birds and when the wind dances through the tree branches to make the opposing limbs smack against each other and their leaves to rustle lazily. All in all, it was a beautiful day.

Toris assumed that many of the students on the floors below him were glancing out the window dreamily, wishing that they had a football and could just make the school building disappear for some much needed free time. But all the said students were stuck inside; most that would have a free period were most likely in the library or lurking in the cafeteria to get in line first for the best food.

The wind whisked by elegantly as if performing in a ballet, making Toris' should length chocolate brown hair whip in the direction it was forced. He paid no mind though. More of, he was letting the encouraging thoughts of how nice it would feel to let go, let himself just relax and drop to the inviting pavement that by now was whispering his name teasingly to get him to jump.

By then he was ready to, the last thoughts of how he was living. His parents dying three years ago in a head-on collision, how he has to live with his aunt and uncle and two out of three luring cousins (the eldest had already moved on to live on her own). That was the main part. How a boy, only a year ahead of him, could get so deep under his skin with a few simple words. He was teased mainly, for being from such an unknown country, for refusing to let his hair be any shorter than it already was, and for his talkative boyfriend. That was the one that got everyone. It was quick news of how they were caught in the boy's bathroom during lunch, hunched over the sinks in a deep, passionate kiss. Only getting two days detention, but equaled with a school life of torture.

"_No one can accept everything, Toris." Felix had said over his pasty pink strawberry smoothie as he plucked the ruby cherry off its stem while the two sat off to the side in an old fashioned diner. The Lithuanian had let out a much needed rant about how he couldn't even walk down the halls without getting some lewd comment or another about his opened sexuality. He had once been the one to raise his hand for almost every question that teacher had to offer; now he sat in the back of the room, staring at his text book with empty jade eyes as when he started to raise his hand another comment would send the class into an uproar of laughter. _

_At first he had tried to shake it off, laughing with them half-heartedly until finally they hit below the belt and he was out for the count. An empty shell walked robotically everywhere, even at home where it was suppose to be a sanctuary. If there was nothing at school, there would be a snide comment from his cousin, then followed by the youngest who stayed silent – thank God – but would always be looking for something to tell her elder brother to get her relative in trouble. _

_ Toris merely sighed and laid his head on the table, counting the dots on the carpet below before feeling a hand on his head. He looked up; their eyes meeting, a wide smile pulling at Felix's lips as he had reached over the table and ruffled his boyfriend's hair. "But, like, no one's opinion matters because I love you, you love me, and everyone else's say in it can totally go down the toilet." A light shade of pink brushed over Toris' face, a half-hearted smile returning at the other as the blonde laughed when catching sight of the colour spreading across his face. "If you say so…" Was the only response given before the conversation went on to about upcoming events and how close they were to graduating. _

As he thought of the memory that had only happened weeks before, sudden warmth spread through Toris, starting at his chest and spreading to his fingers and toes. The simple thought of the Polish blonde boy that had been a factor in getting him into this mess was the one subject that would make him step down and go off to lunch instead. As he thought, he started to back away, a soft smile spreading across his lips, his thoughts filling completely with the Pole.

Suddenly though, as Toris had taken the step closer to stepping away from the edge, the roof entrance door slammed open, metal upon metal banging loudly as the door and stopper pole met. The one boy on his mind came to notice he was there, opening his mouth to speak. "Hey, Toris, what—" Felix was cut up quickly by the scene of his boyfriend trying to catch himself as he tripped over his own feet as he tried to turn.

"Toris!" A strangled cry, laced with terror and tears already starting to make his voice weak. The Lithuanian had once again been at the building edge, though instead of peeping, he had tripped. His whole being disappearing from sight of Felix, who had lunged forward, his hand outstretched over the edge of the building in failed attempted to rescue his loved one. His mouth agape, Felix saw the body of his Toris, disfigured and limbs tangled as he laid facedown, blood pooling already through his hair. Broken sobs started to elate from the boy, tears falling over the edge of the building to land on the ground by his lover. The Pole pulled back, letting his tears flow as his ignored the bell ending class, the shouts that come only moments later when someone had noticed the body. All Felix had done was slam the roof door shut and coward in the shade of the hatch.

All of it came so suddenly, his mind still not fully accepting what he had seen. The ambulance sirens had signaled that someone had been called. The only thing that made Felix's tears flow like a river was that as he listened to the van pull away from the school, all he could see was the flashing lights, no siren. He curled his knees to his chest, hiding his face in his arms as he went on letting the water flow.

"It's my entire fault…" He muttered, shaking his head in his arms, the blonde locks only falling more into his face. "If… I hadn't been so loud…" His sobs grew louder, until he felt a gentle chill that slowly enveloped him. Only then did his crying fade and slowly grow quieter.

Toris had stood aside, the remaining clear mist of his soul watching the scene before him, his memory impaired. He remembered not who the boy was, though a sad feeling engulfed him until he went over and crouched by him, doing his best to hug him. He smiled, hearing the sobbing subside, and quietly into the hair of the boy he muttered with unknowing meaning. "I don't blame you."


End file.
